


And They All Lived... Er... In the End.

by ComedyOfErrors



Series: Prompts: Kath and Petra Volume 1 [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-13 00:39:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2130510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComedyOfErrors/pseuds/ComedyOfErrors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Petra to Kath:<br/>Steve Rogers/Tony Stark<br/>Fairy tale, like they got stuck in a fair tale and must act it out. Whatever fairy tale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And They All Lived... Er... In the End.

**Author's Note:**

> Kath: Man, I couldn't pick just one fairy tale. How the hell can I possibly pick just one to torture those two with? So I did several, Disney-style. See if you can list them all! (It won't be hard)
> 
> Warnings: I don't even know where to start with this. It's just a weird piece of fanfiction, but there's nothing terribly inappropriate or anything.

The Response:

When Tony awoke, the first thing he saw was Steve, standing over him looking annoyed and very, very confused. “What the hell...” He sat up, clutching his head against a sudden headache and looked around.  
The room was feminine-looking, despite the stone walls. Or it would have been, had everything not looked ancient and half-rotted away. The bed he was laying on seemed to be the only exception: soft, set with white linen sheets and a fine down comforter. Thin, lacy curtains hung between the tall bedposts, one of them (the curtains, that is) having apparently been torn aside. Probably by Steve.  
“Tony! You're alive!”  
“Where the hell are we?”  
“I have no idea. When we were thrown back, I got knocked out. When I came to, there was a- a- a dragon standing over me, guarding this castle. It was all covered with thorns, but when you started to wake up, they all disappeared.”  
“There was a what?”  
Steve grimaced. The idea of a dragon guarding a castle had bothered him quite a bit. But, once faced with the evidence and a hell of a bruise for his hesitation, he'd been forced to accept it as fact. “Look, I know, okay? And then these fairies told me I had to go wake up the sleeping prince. With a kiss, by the way, sorry about that.”  
Tony stared. “You realize you just recited half the plot of Sleeping Beauty, right?”  
“What?”  
“Oh, right, after your time. No, it's a fairy tale. Uh, princess stabs herself with a spinning wheel, falls asleep forever, prince kills the dragon, wakes up the princess, everyone lives happily ever after.” He looked around again.  
“This has to be Loki's doing.” Steve frowned, folding his arms.  
“Yeah, so, he's into Disney princesses now. Great.”  
“What do we do?”  
“Well, this normally would cue the credits, so there has to be more to this. Let's go outside and look around.”

They made it to the entrance hall of the castle when Tony noticed an ornately framed mirror hanging on the wall. He recognized it. “Hey, Cap, hold on a sec. Check this out: magic mirror.”  
“Another fairy tale?”  
“Snow White. When we get back I am sitting you down for a Disney movie marathon.” They stood in front of the mirror, Steve rather nonplussed by the whole thing, Tony grinning manically. “Hey, mirror, what's the deal?”  
Their reflections distorted, forming the image of a dramatic mask. It frowned at Tony disapprovingly. “Choose your words more carefully, or you will get no answers from me,” it scolded.  
Tony made a fist, his Iron Man armor glinting in the light from the front door. “Okay. Answer my question or spend the rest of your days as a chorus.”  
The mask sighed. “You are just no fun at all. What do you want, standing in my hall?”  
“What is going on here?” Steve asked. “What's with all the fairy tale stuff?”  
When it replied, the voice that spoke was Loki's. “My, you get right to the point. I need you out of the way for a little while, gentlemen. Just relax and enjoy. Try to have a little fun. I'll let you out eventually.”

It was chaos. 

Steve ate the poisoned apple and Tony nearly killed three of the seven dwarfs in frustration before he managed to peck Steve on the lips and wake him up. Then he really did kill three dwarfs, just to stop all the joyous dancing.  
When they both turned into (rather interestingly colored) frogs, it took them longer than they would have expected it to, and resulted in new crocodile-skin shoes for Tony and a rather concussed voodoo priest. This kiss was preceded with some chuckling, and would have been cuter except that Tony was liberally coated in crocodile blood.

Steve sat on a rock, trying to figure out how to remove his red, white, and blue shell bra and wondering how he was supposed to find Tony when he was half-fish and also somehow missing his voice. But the ship he could see in the distance, not too far out to sea, was closing in fast. As it approached, Steve considered hiding, but if Tony was on the ship he should stay visible. If they tried to communicate, he would attempt diplomatic sign language before he resorted to violence or fleeing.  
As it happened, though, as soon as the ship got close, a figure dove from it and began swimming quickly towards him. Steve slipped into the water, closing the distance quickly and surfacing next to Tony. He laughed silently at the red and gold puffy shirt he wore. Tony, though, just grabbed him roughly and pulled him in for a hard kiss, both of them tasting salt from the sea.  
Steve pulled away and cleared his throat. “So, when we get back, let's not tell everyone about this.”  
Tony tread water and looked around. “Deal. You know, if we ever get out of this.”


End file.
